I’ve lived either Philly-adjacent or in Philly nearly all my life so I know that when you search “Philadelphia tourist attractions” on your favorite search engine, you’re going to turn up some stinkers. While considered “essential” many of these attractions are boring or overpriced or both. All the while, the real gems remain largely unpopular or unknown. I’ve compiled a list of some unexpected duds and studs of the Philadelphia tourist attraction scene.
Tired: The Liberty Bell
The king of lame tourist attractions. Imagine this: You wait in a long, snaking line for about 20 minutes (not including security) in a big glass building. At the end of this line is an empty room save for a big bell with a crack in it. You stare at the bell and the crack for about three minutes. You and your company may proclaim something along the lines of “Yep, that’s a bell with a crack in it!” or, “That sure is something.” You then leave and buy $15 dollar sandwiches.
“But the bell’s, like, important or something, right?” You may be asking. Well, not really. There aren’t even any historical accounts of the bell ringing at all, much less on July 4, 1776. Historians don’t even really know how it got cracked.
In defense of the Liberty Bell, it is free. Free for a reason I would say.
Wired: The Wagner Free Institute of Science of Philadelphia
This place is weird in the best way. The Wagner Free Institute of Science is a natural history museum that has remain untouched since the late 1800’s. Known for being one of the last authentic Victorian-style science societies, you can experience this museum the exact same way people experienced it back when they were wearing crazy hats, corsets, and those fancy dresses that make your butt look huge.
Tired: Getting a Cheesesteak
I want to say first of all that you SHOULD get a cheesesteak if you come to Philly. I’m not a monster. But I’m also going to say something that may ruffle a few feathers: It’s not THAT important where you get it from. People will argue over Steve’s, Pat’s, Geno’s, Tony Luke’s, and so on but at the end of the day, you’re in Philly eating a cheesesteak… it’s gonna be good.
Wired: Getting a roast beef sandwich at Nick’s Old Original Roast Beef
Located in South Philly and convenient to the stadiums, Nick’s may seem hole-in-the-wall-esque and that because it is. But the roast beef sandwich (and gravy fries) are unbeatable. You get a real taste for the Philly vibe in this place too. What else can I say… It’s damn good.
Tired: The Philadelphia Zoo
OK, this is one is personal. I just don’t like zoos.
Wired: The Comcast Building
What’s that tall building that looks like a giant thumb drive in the sky? It’s the Comcast building of course! The Comcast Building doesn’t seem like it would be that happening of a tourist attraction and honestly, it’s not; It’s a corporate office building. BUT, it is kind of cool in there, especially during the holiday season with their yearly Christmas show on their huge screens. And if you head downstairs, there is an underground market called The Concourse with all kinds of restaurants and retailers. On the off chance that you know someone who can get you up to the really high floors of the Comcast building, the views are OK too…
Tired: The Italian Market
If you live near it, the Italian Market is great! Huge variety of produce, meat, and other offerings (The handmade ravioli at Talluto’s is to die for) with a cool outdoor market atmosphere. But, if you don’t live here, I don’t really see the appeal. What are you gonna do? Buy some blueberries? I mean blueberries are good and all but it’s not exactly an experience you can have only in Philadelphia. Add to this the giant (and I mean giant) mural of a corrupt, racist cop, and you’ve got a less than ideal hot spot.
Wired: The Shofuso Japanese House and Garden
In the lea of a picturesque ridge lies a small, unpretentious Japanese tea garden. (Thank you, Moira Rose). The ridge is Philadelphia and the lea is in Fairmount Park and I’ll just let Visit Philadelphia explain:
“Visitors are invited to tour the house and feed the koi fish that swim in a pond under a 75-year-old weeping cherry tree, as well as explore the beautiful garden landscape that stretches for more than an acre.”
AKA: Serenity overload.
Honorable Mentions:
Tired: The Rocky Steps — Chase your bliss and all but I’m making fun of you if I see you running up these stairs.
Wired: The ACTUAL Philadelphia Museum of Art — Do I have to explain?
Tired: The Magic Gardens — Overhyped and overpriced.
Wired: My Friend, Lauren’s, Apartment — She’s really nice and she’ll probably give you wine.
Tired: A Segway Tour — Get off the road and roll into a ditch, please!
Wired: One of those Mural Bus Tour — Murals good.
